You have resisted hitting the pause button on your life because you thought that would be unspiritual. You were taught to endure, fight and struggle. Some of this has been righteous, but the majority of these efforts were attempts at a misguided spirituality.
God wants you to reach up and hit the pause button on your life. He is asking you to do this so you can stop and assess what all this activity means. In the pause He will reveal to you those few things He has asked you to carry.
As this pause takes place you will become nervous thinking that so much is not getting done. One of the reasons God wants you to hit the pause button is to reveal to you that His Kingdom will continue to move forward without your activity and concern. When you reengage your life-schedule you will possess a greater wisdom about what things to take on as personal responsibility and what things to leave alone.