You keep laughing because you are afraid that if you stop the tears will begin to flow. When people look at you they are not able to see the sadness in your heart behind the mask of laughter. You will not be able to hide the true emotion of your heart forever.
In the past you became vulnerable and trusted someone and your trust was violated. You promised yourself you would never open up in that way again. You have not allowed yourself to become vulnerable in an attempt at self-protection. You are tired of all this emotional labor. God is about to take you on a labor-free journey to experience real joy. On this journey He will help you release so much that has been pent-up inside your heart.
God is inviting you to trust Him by letting go of this fear and the resulting control of your emotions. The ones who truly love you will never shame you in your place of weeping – they will embrace your newfound honesty. This moment of release will become a threshold to a new life of freedom and peace.